Back in the saddle again - Whoopi-ty-aye-oh....

Not sure there's anyone out there following this - it may just be me but that's ok!  Using this as a journal as well since that is helpful when staying on track.

Well, it's been about 6 months since I last was here or probably worked out with any decent routine.. UGH.  Shaking my damn head.  Life got seriously in the way but I also lost my will power to be as strict as we had been.  I stressed out totally over some medical tests which THANK GOD were fine in the long run..  I had a pinched disk in my back that took until somewhere this summer to heal.  Then my partner in love, life and the pursuit of fitness had double hernia surgery.  Then I got Pneumonia.  By the time those things were done, we didn't exactly bounce back to working out since the summer was almost done. We had travel, weekend fun planned with kids, etc.. Nor did we put the breaks on enjoying carbs, food, starbucks, wine.. OMG the starbucks and wine.  How I love thee, let me count the ways.. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.. You get the point.

I also was motivated during this challenge because I thought there was going to be a mini-makeover of sorts with a potential TV spot.  I led myself to believe that I didn't really care, etc but in reality it was a way to validate what I had done.  I got one of the highest scores but in reality it wasn't what the TV crew was looking for.  They were looking for the better story and it felt like a kick in the teeth.  It felt like not being good enough and it was more disappointing than I really let on.  In reality, there were no mini-makeovers, it wasn't a glammed up spot but it was acknowledgement for effort.  I felt let down and I also let that contribute to my waining willpower.

Now the past 6 months weren't all carbs, candy and food debauchery.. But there wasn't enough working out to help keep the eating in check.  We were active but not like before and we let sugar/dairy/carbs back in too much.

Today was our first day of being back in the saddle working out again after basically 6 months off.  My body recognized the energized yet tired feeling that comes from an early morning workout and it felt good!  We have a schedule in place to start back working out and we've been back on the food plan for a while now.  (Even have added a few more veggie dishes so veggie night isn't quite so painful..lol. LOVE the crispy Brussel sprouts!)  

My motivation for getting back in the saddle other than getting to be a healthier me?  We surprised our kids with a trip to WDW and my love proposed while we were there!  I have a year to get ready to be married on our beach in Hawaii!!!!!!!!  I know regardless he will see the love of his life as the most beautiful bride because he loves me for me.  I want to feel like a million bucks that day and know I did everything I could to be healthy and fit.  

Our future will start here as Mr & Mrs!

Pacing yourself..

So apparently one of the lessons this challenge taught is teaching me is that I have to pace myself.  I'm in this for the long term, paying attention to short term goals and ignoring my body will hurt me longer term.  

I hadn't been as great about stretching, listening to pain in my back/left hip as I should have been.  I pushed hard because I didn't want to derail mid-challenge and I was being a #'s girl.  I wanted the best #'s and pushing myself was a way to get it.  Don't get me wrong - you have to push yourself but also pay attention to what your body is telling you.  

This is going on week 4 now that I haven't worked out because I was sick and now because for the last 2.5 weeks I've had a hard time even walking.  I woke up one morning with such bad pain all I could do was hobble to my bathtub to try and find relief or a way to move.  I'm hoping to be back working out within 2 weeks - but that's a lot of time to be without Bonza workouts!!  In the meantime, I've had muscle work done, chiropractic, inversion table therapy, float therapy and Physical therapy to try and get better.  I've also become a sports cream connoisseur if there is such a thing.  At last count, I"ve tried 8 thus far.. I rotate between my desk chair, my ball chair and putting boxes on my desk so I can stand and work.  I have to take stretch breaks using my office stairs to combat sitting in my office.  It sucks hurting and knowing a few modifications probably would have prevented this.

I'm frustrated because I had such great momentum going and feel like this is a slow down, I'm not going to meet my internal goal of where I wanted to be on my 40th Birthday.  I've stayed on the food plan and that's been good to prove to myself I can.  In the past when I've relaxed on working out, my food choices have also relaxed.  Not this time - and I'm happy for that!  I'm still losing weight (on March 14 - the last time I stepped on a scale) I'm down a total of 24 lbs from where I started!  That's great and I'm sooo happy about that.  However, if you know me, patience is not my greatest virtue - I want to get moving and losing more now!

The moral of this story - STRETCH, STRETCH, STRETCH and LISTEN to your body.  I will be stretching more before and more after each workout as well as incorporating more "maintenance" for my body.  That looks to be a combo of Chiropractic, float therapy and Physical Therapy.

From a Post my Trainer Kelly did today that I really needed to hear and take in!

Hoping to be putting my hands in the air and giving up those 2 claps VERY SOON!

Weigh Out Results

16.+ POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what the scale said I lost this am, dropped 2.5% body fat and lost 9" through my body.. Happy, Excited, Over the moon, elated and proud describes just how I felt to see that.  

It validated all the hard work, determination and effort we put into developing good habits over this last 50 days.  I'm looking forward to seeing my "official" before and after pictures and I can't wait to use them as the "before" stages when i hit my final goal.  

Seeing these results also just reinforced determination. This week has been hard - fighting a cold, missing workouts due to being sick, craving carbs and feeling run down have tested that strength.  Weighing out at the end of the week provided the will to resist sabotaging my results but a part of me (earlier in the week) was tempted to have that coconut milk latte post weigh in.  NOT with these results!!!  

I'm going to miss this 50 day challenge, it was a great experience and such a supportive group of people.  Everyone did awesome and is better off for doing it - met some amazing people that inspire me.  My Boyfriend and I have signed up to continue on with Bonza, it pushes us hard and I know the results will come faster.  We've decided to keep on the eating plan - minus 2 concessions a week.  (WITHIN Reason..I'm not talking a cheat day or sugar fest people)  I want a coconut milk Latte on Friday am and then the ability to eat what kids pick for family night (if it's worth the calorie spend).  Luckily for the most part - our kids pick things that are on plan!  So there might be weeks where it's only the small latte that's off plan, there might be other weeks where I have a couple slices of a fingerling potato (A fave of the kids on family night) or a slice of cheese with salami at a party and there might be weeks that are totally on plan.  It's not going to be a plate full of those things tho or a carb fest.  If there's something off plan - it's going to have to be worth those calories on my high day.  I'm not eating something just because it's there or because it's a high day and I'm not going to let something derail my entire day.

So what's next?  A little rest to try and kick this cold and also because apparently "the storm of the century" (LOL) is going to keep us from taking our long weekend walks with the kids/Pup.  After that - Our reward pedicures and I'll be on to my next Milestone.  

Operation - Fabulous Forty.. End of April is coming up sooner than I'd think and I can't wait to see just how much less of me there will be!!

My partner in Love, Life and the pursuit of fitness;)

Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Right Now, It's your Tomorrow"

My weigh in is coming up at the end of this week and I'm nervous.  As many times as I've told myself that the # doesn't matter, I've worked as hard as I could and was true to plan - here comes the day of reckoning.  Waiting for the final number to pop up on that scale is nerve racking.  Will it be my ally or my nemesis?  Is there anyway I can see it as just a machine?  It can't account for what I've done, the inches lost, the willpower put in or the growth inside me.  Yet I find myself putting so much worth on what the stupid thing says.  Part of it is I haven't stepped on a scale in almost 50 days, so I really don't know what it will say.  In the past, I haven't lost as much as I thought I would or had tried to.  I've been disappointed and felt like I let myself down or didn't have what it took to really come through.

Driving home last night from bootcamp, my boyfriend and I were talking about the same thing or estimating what losses would be.  I didn't have a guess really for me, I know what i hope I lost but a part of me is scared to even estimate that #. I don't want to let myself dream about a big # only to be bit in the ass by reality. If I was close to what his estimate for my # would be - I'd be ecstatic!!!  He reminded me that this time was different, I can't compare it to the past.  I was totally on plan, there were NO deviations or times i let it slide.  I worked out more than I ever have.  So that has to deliver results right?  I know it did, so why am I so nervous to have a scale validate me?

If you know me - you know I tend to be a planner.  At times I have multiple plans, then backup plans so I know I'm covered in any situation.  I know that I'm going to be nervous with anticipation and butterflies in the stomach hoping for good results walking into my weigh in.  I need a plan for what to do in any case.  Easiest plan?  If my results are awesome - I'm going to be in 7th Bonza Heaven and you won't be able to wipe that cheese-ball grin off my face. ;) If they aren't quite where I want - I'm taking my end measurements before I weigh out so I will have inches lost to help remind me my body has transformed.  I'm also putting together a list of accomplishments to read:
 - Last night, I got further down in a pushup than I have in the past
 - I have not given in to any temptations during this challenge 
 - I've taken it more seriously than any attempt in the past
 - I can fit into Jeans I couldn't before - and while muffin-topy = They zip!
 - Clothes fit looser
 - I can see lines in my Triceps, saw some bicep action also in the mirror ;)
 - When I suck in my tummy, the pooch is mostly gone (before this.. yea, not so much)
 - I have taken my kids to Starbucks 3 times now for a before school protein plate/juice and not once caved to get something for myself.
- Blogging has been cathartic and helped me find parts of myself that I needed back
- I have stuck to getting up earlier than I ever thought I would just to get a workout in
- I have confided in someone about this journey and took a leap of faith I would have not had the courage to before.
- I can say - I want to workout and truly mean it =)
- I feel more in control of my life
- I feel good

In the end those are the things that matter and that I need to remind myself of if I don't see what i want at weigh in.  This isn't about finishing a 50 day challenge and the results being final.  This has to be about seizing my opportunity to change - and I have to be in it for the long haul.    

"Right now, hey

It's your tomorrow

Right now,

C'mon, it's everything

Right now,

Catch that magic moment, and do it right,

Right now"

Until Weigh in - Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

The Change inside of me..

5 weeks - that's really all it's been since we started our challenge.  When you think of that timeframe, it's really not a long time and yet so much has changed.  Our eating habits, our activity levels, our energy levels, our outlook and mindset - all facets of our life have been affected in a very BONZA way.  

On the outside it's easier to see some tangible changes:  clothes are fitting loosely, I'm able to zip up jeans easily that I struggled with before, the muffin top is gone in outfits where it was prevalent before.  I see my face is getting thinner, I can see muscles that used to have some good definition start to peek out again during workouts.  I've even noticed bones on the top of my foot that I'd forgotten about.  The tangible changes are the ones that sometimes I think we give the most credence to but the other changes are meaning more.

I feel healthier and more alive.  All through the holiday season, I'd have a latte to wake me up 3-4 times a week, by 2 or 3 in the afternoon I was hanging on by a thread doing emails trying to focus and wanting to doze off.  I was getting enough sleep generally and decided if this challenge didn't change that - I was going to see a Dr because I knew that wasn't normal.  One week into the challenge, that all changed.  Cutting out that caffeine and sugar gave me an even energy level all day. 2 days into the challenge, my boyfriend remarked to me as we were talking about getting used to the "new way of eating" how good he felt.  I do too!  I feel "clean" inside which is hard to describe.  I don't feel bogged down with processed crap or sluggish.

We've been spending Sundays taking our dog on 2-3 mile walks, upping our distance each time.  Not only does our dog love it, it feels good to move.  We've included kids on walks and it's been a good way to get them off of ipods, tv, cpu's and outside also.  We've talked about more things we can do outside with kids to spend time interacting with each other. 

So the areas you'd expect change in doing a challenge like this would be - Looking better, physical changes, feeling better and all those happened.  One area that surprised me was relationship changes.  With my boyfriend, it's deepened that trust, friendship and love sharing a very personal struggle.  You want that person to see you with stars in their eyes & love your flaws.  Despite how many times they may tell you, it can be hard to believe it when you don't like what you see in the mirror physically. With my kids, being more active and feeling good translates into having more energy to engage them more actively.  It's doing a game night vs movie night, take long walks vs relaxing on the couch or with electronics.  It's brought us closer because we're more actively relating.  We've had a stressful issue or two arise and we've handled them calmly.  We're working through things that while challenging, I don't feel drowned by because I have energy to deal with them.  They enjoy being active and it feels good to be active with them!  Most of all - this is changing my relationship with myself.  I found "me" again, I found that self-confidence I had been feeling at a loss for, I feel proud of where I am even though I have quite a few pounds to go. I'm happy finding that inner strength that has been waning and I'm happy looking in the mirror and loving myself again.

Share that love -  Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!          

Not your ordinary Bootcamp

I haven't typically thought of myself as someone who likes to workout.  I wasn't really athletic growing up and never had to work to maintain my weight/figure until later in my 20's.  So as weight came on, I didn't have a solid foundation on what to do physically to make it go away.  I tried a lot of different things but nothing really grabbed me or was fun.  I tried going to rec centers but didn't know anyone there, felt uncertain in terms of what I should be doing to get the most out of my workout and there was just no spark for me to want to come back.  I tried tons of different workout videos that now sit dusty in my DVD rack (I'm looking at you Billy Blanks, Yoga for moms, Hula for amazing abs/buns and Jillian Michaels ..)  I shake my head that I actually owned this horseback riding workout machine, didn't work.  *wow, there's a surprise*.. 

I went on walks, rode my stationary bike and used weights but results were slower and it's easy to hit the snooze button when things seem redundant.  Two of my sister in laws are AMAZING runners, I'd hear them talk and wish I loved to run.  I tried to jog or run with my dog but hated every second, so that lasted all of 2 days..lol.  The only time I ever actually belonged to a Gym before Bonza was when I was 20, a size 4 and just went to use the pool/steam room and because my friend also joined.  It was a women's only gym that looked like it belonged in the 80's.  My friend soon lost interest and it wasn't fun going alone - so that kind of tainted my views of gyms.  (On your own, lost as a number, old ladies that didn't see any need for wearing clothes or towels in the locker room.. the list was long for reasons I didn't want to go anymore).  

I first heard of Bonza through my neighbor.  She asked me if I wanted to do a workout challenge that her realty office was sponsoring for charity.  Sounded fun and I love hanging out with this fun bunch of ladies, so I said sure.  OH. MY. GOD.. I think we both thought we were going to die during the first workout with Jamie.  At some point my brain stopped comprehending his words because my body was working so hard.  Then suddenly the 50 minutes were over and this almost 7 foot Aussie hadn't killed us after all. I coughed almost the whole morning after that workout - my lungs hadn't had to breath like that in well... Ever!  And while my quads hurt every time I had to sit for about 3 days, I felt amazing.  I felt alive and like a badass having made it through an intense bootcamp workout.  (No Drill instructors in this bootcamp tho!!!)  We kept going back, we left bookclub on a Friday night at 1AM and kept the promise to meet at 6:30 am for Saturday am bootcamp. (NO SNOOZE BUTTON!  WHAT?!?!)  He and the other trainers were funny, kept us engaged as they worked us through the different circuits, were encouraging and there was no monotony.  If you hated something (Bear crawls..just putting that out there) - rest assured that something else was right around the corner. The classes are small, so even when I was just going by myself it was easy to get to know others and the same people were generally there week after week.  The trainers look at you individually - not as a number and watch your form, adapt movements to suit you and challenge you.  I was hooked.  I found something fun, challenging, a workout that pushed me like nothing I'd ever experienced, something that was different each time I went and I felt alive!  

The first few months I went, Jamie had talked about the food plan but I disregarded parts that didn't fit into my lifestyle. I wasn't giving up cheese or latte's for anyone. It was out there for you to follow, Your workout/foodplan = Your results. You weren't going to get the big Bonza gooseegg for not following it or quizzed on it when you went to workout. What you did get was a lot of encouragement.  At one point when I wasn't seeing results I thought I should, Jamie sat down and asked me to journal my food plan for 2 weeks and just "Try, just try" to stay on  plan and see what happens. Jamie didn't smack me upside my head with the food plan packet and tell me - "well it's all here, why didn't you do it to begin with..?!"  At the end of the 2 weeks, I lost 8 lbs. Apparently "my food plan" wasn't quite as clean as I thought it had been. Again I was hooked on feeling good on the inside and loved that the outside was transforming as well. I followed it for several months and continued to do my bootcamps with limited workouts at home.  I remember standing in the dressing room shopping for some business suits, txting Jamie and another trainer in tears.  I WAS FITTING INTO A SIZE I HADN'T IN FOREVER!  I had lost weight but I'd been at that weight before.  The difference was now I could fit into a size that I hadn't been able to in years.  I stopped thinking only in Lbs lost, I had gained muscle and my body was becoming more fit!

Unfortunately at that point some life changes got in the way and derailed my success for a while.  I got tired of feeling the way I did and hating what stared back in the mirror, so started trying to figure out how to change that.  I had thought about other gyms closer to home or work, looking at what i could do at home but Bonza has my heart.  I love that intense workout, the small groups, the encouragement, not being a number, never being bored working out, being pushed harder than I ever have been, feeling like a badass and the exhausted yet revived feeling I have climbing the stairs to leave.  

I'm loving this 50 day challenge and I enjoy working out at home, taking long walks with our dog, getting out and being active!  Among things I never thought I'd say - I'm loving working out.  It feels so good to be more healthy and I can't wait to see more and more transformations as I continue to get fit.  So if you *think* you hate working out, are absolutely positive it's the worst thing in the world to do.. I get it, I feel like I wrote the book on that.  You just haven't found the right workout FOR YOU but it is out there. You've just got to wade through some old DVD's, 80's gyms, ridiculous equipment (Hi Shake Weight) and enough trial & errors to find it!

Now Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone gets a trophy...

This phrase always gets an instant eye roll at our house.. but I've kind of had to shake my head at my internal self lately.  I want a trophy.  I want something to signify I've done a good job at certain milestones.  I'm not playing in the 4-6 year old soccer league, I'm not participating in a spelling bee, I'm not a kid.  And yet - I want a flipping reward for reversing something that I let happen. (And God bless those in my life who remind me often to be nicer to myself, that going through a lot in the past few years would be taxing on anyone.  I love them for that because I did struggle, felt like I was drowning at times and I feel like I was fighting as hard as I could for me, my kids, sanity...  I do feel like I accomplished a lot just finding a way to come up for air at times.  In the end my weight/health was what got sacrificed.  Stress does factor into the weight/health but there were times I knew I was sabotaging myself because I just couldn't face what was in the mirror.) 

Back to my trophy - Shouldn't my clothes being looser, feeling like I have more energy, knowing I'm a healthier me and noticing positive body changes be enough?  Maybe it should.  For me, it's not and maybe I am being a foot stomping little runt but it's my party and I'll cry if I want to ;).  

When my mom and I started a program some years ago, we decided we were going to take ourselves to New York City and treat our selves to makeovers when we hit goal.  Then life cancer got in the way and we decided to just take the trip and do it anyway.  (One of the most special trips ever BTW)  That trip though gave us something to look forward to in the midst of workouts, not indulging in unhealthy choices, etc.  I need that again.  

I'm trying to think of things that give me some extra motivation to hit mini-goals - breaking through certain weight milestones, dropping sizes, completing this 50 day challenge and finally or most importantly - reaching my goal! Some of the things on that list:

 - Cuter workout gear (good motivation to get to class I'd say!)

 - A pedicure (I think this is ours after the 50 day challenge)

 - Massage

 - New cute outfit when I've dropped a size/2 for a wedding this summer

 - New haircut

And for when I've hit goal - I really do want to be on a beach or on the ocean.  Whether that's a short cruise (Where my boyfriend and I met almost 24 years ago), a Mexican retreat or someplace TBD - I want to celebrate.  I want to feel confident in that swimsuit, take a run on that beach, Shout out to the ocean - King of the world/Titanic style - I MADE IT, drink in the rays of the sun - letting myself think that they are the blazing smiles of my parents and those I love looking down on me and I'll smile a ridiculous smile knowing I did it.  

And Yes - sip an umbrella drink =)

Here's to Trophy's!! Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over the halfway point..

Well, we're a little more than halfway through this challenge and I'm proud of what we've worked for!  I'm also thinking a lot about what is waiting on the other side of this challenge now.  I know I'm not hitting my goal weight/size by the end of 50 days, but I know I want to keep this momentum up so I do hit it!  I'm thinking a lot about what I can do to make sure that happens.  This has helped build healthy habits and gave me a jump start.  I know there's a journey a head of me too.  This 50 day challenge has a finite end, my journey to my goal doesn't.  My mind is full of so many questions - how much will I have lost at the end of this challenge (both weight and body fat), how much closer to goal could I be by the end of April (my 40th birthday), how will my tradeshow "outfits" fit by the next one, by the summer how will I feel about swimsuit shopping, where will I be by the end of summer/a year from now goal wise?? 

I haven't weighed in on this challenge and that's a HUGE deviation from past efforts.  At first when my boyfriend brought up his not wanting to know what his weigh ins were, I thought he was crazy.  How can someone not want to know what the almighty number says?  Then in talking more - it really hit me.  Every time in the past, I weighed in on Friday mornings.  It affected my day EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  If I was up or the same, I was grouchy, irritable, down on myself and felt like Screw it.  Why deny myself a latte or lunch out when obviously what I'm doing is not helping?  If I was down, I'd pat myself on the back a little too hard and then reward myself with a latte, lunch out, extra glass of wine at night..  So I joined him in shunning the ever precious scale, even when it sings it's siren song to just peek at the number.  I'm more than a number and whatever that number is at the end of 50 days - I know I worked hard for it.  I'm not going to sugar coat it - it may sting pretty deep if I don't see something I deem significant but I'm going to have to find a way past that and know that I worked hard.  The weight didn't go on in 50 days - it's not going to come off in 50 days either.  On the flip side, if I see something awesome - I need to keep my celebratory pat on the back in check and know - there's still a road ahead of you, don't derail just because the 50 day structure isn't there.

These are some of my favorite pins on my fitness board when it comes to motivation.  I've been keeping them pretty handy and getting them in my head so I push forward just as hard after these 50 days.  

  

Until next time..Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mangia, Mangia! (Eat, Eat!)

I had someone once tell me her husband was a chef and she hated to eat, she wished she could just take a pill and get her daily needs met.  She was probably a size negative 6 and might as well have told me she just was probed by Aliens.  WHAT?!  How can you have someone making you incredible food and hate eating?!  That simply doesn't compute.  (Obviously or this blog would be about how I hate eating and was probed by Aliens..LOL!)

Point being - eating on plan can't be boring or it won't last.  It can seem restricting because it's no starchy carbs, no grains, no sugar and no dairy.  At first the part I was most OK with was no dairy, until I realized that meant cheese.  To me cheese is it's own food group.  On this plan, not so much =( I almost cried hearing cheese was off the table but it is all about how much you really want to lose - so I agreed.  No Cheese.  (That 2 word sentence has almost the same significance to me as the biblical 2 word sentence - Jesus Wept.)  Although I know he wasn't weeping for my lack of cheese.. 

Anyway, eating on plan really isn't that hard once you get the mind going.  Lean meat, Veggies, Legumes, Berries.. We've been checking labels very carefully if it's something in a can or jar looking for items that have minimal ingredients, no added sugars, making sure the items in the jar are things you can pronouce, etc.. Trying to make sure that we are greatly reducing what processed food we allow in our bodies.  

This plan is easy enough to find things on menu's too that help you stick to a lean meat portion and veggies.  We're pretty excited that 2 of the items we love the most at our Fave Mexican restaurant are totally on plan - just take off the cheese and no rice.  What's left?  Lean meat and veggies cooked in amazing spices.

Here are some of the go to recipes we've been testing on our family that have received 10 thumbs up - 2 adults, a teen and 2 kids under 10.

- Cuban Flank Steak - DELICIOUS!!!  We serve it with Cilantro/Lime Black beans (Add cilantro and lime to some black beans) and top with Avocado & Tomato

- Qdoba Bowls (Our Version) - Start with Black beans, add the Barbacoa Beef (Used a grass fed roast), add sautee'd bell peppers and onions, Avocado, tomato and salsa/hot sauce.   You can also add lettuce if you want more of a salad feel.  (Pict is of the meat receipe we used, no tortillas were injured in the making of these bowls)..

- Fish Tacos with Mango Salsa - We cooked Tilapia, seasoned it a bit with some pepper, garlic, onion or whatever you like best.  For the Mango Salsa = Dice 1 Mango, Dice 1 avacado, chop 1/2 red onion, chop 1 deseeded, deveined Jalapeno (leave those in for more spice), juice of 1 lime, few TBSP's of fresh chopped cilantro and stir together.  Serve with Broccoli slaw on Romaine lettuce leaves for the "Taco" effect or chop the lettuce for more of a salad.

- Triple Berry Chicken Salad - One container of Spinach (or power greens or really whatever you like best.. I generally do a dark mix to get the most nutrients), 1 container of raspberries, 1 container of blueberries, 1 container of blackberries, 1 Avocado, Feta (we didn't have but the kids could add), 1 Rotisserie Chicken (or shredded chicken breasts) for the Salad.  Top the spinach with berries, avocado and chicken then drizzle with dressing.  For the Dressing - 3 Tbsp Olive Oil and 2 Tbsp Balsamic Vinegar.  Whisk together until blended and then top salad.

-Paleo Pizza Casserole - SO this one is admittedly only a 5 Thumbs up.  The 2 kiddos under 10 were not big fans but I partly blame that on a ratatouille experiment gone bad many years ago.. they are apparently still harboring their dislike towards the squash family.  I liked it, our teenager liked it and my boyfriend gave it one thumbs up (he didn't mind it which is huge given his dislike for squash - so that's like 1.5 thumbs up)  I'd say if you like spaghetti squash, I think this is a good one!  Would be good with chunks of tomatoes, mushrooms, olives, green peppers and extra sauce- anything you put on a pizza to give you a little pizza fix.  I did use a bit of non-dairy cheese, the pepperoni was nitrate/nitrate free and the sauce was organic and natural - no added sugars.   

- Sweet Potato and Egg Hash.. Perfect for the weekend!

- Roasted Cauliflower - This was probably one of the biggest surprises.  My boyfriend likes raw cauliflower, I don't but like cooked.  We'd heard a lot of ravings about roasting it and I was really wanting to test it.  AH-MAZEBALLS.  Chop a head of cauliflower into florets or however you want to eat them on a cookie sheet, drizzle lightly with olive oil and toss with salt/pepper.  Roast in the oven at 400 degrees for about 20/25 min - until tender and browning.  I drizzle mine with some balsamic but none is really needed.  The first time we tried it, the kids ate almost half of what we cooked and they asked for it the next night.  It was that good =)



I have about a million more things I'm really anxious to try on my Pinterest board - it's been fun trying new things and VERY flavorful!!  

Here's a link to my "Recipe Bucket List" Some things on plan, some not (gasp.. I know) but look fun to try - http://www.pinterest.com/LMN0691/recipe-bucket-list/

Here's a link to my "Tried and True" board of things both on plan (and off - So ignore those..lol) that were hits!
http://www.pinterest.com/LMN0691/eat-drink-and-be-merry/

Mangia, Mangia - Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what a Beautiful Morning, Oh what a Beautiful Day...

Every time I hear those words - the sound of my mom's voice singing them, while waking me up in the morning, resounds in my head.  I wasn't *exactly* what you'd call a morning person and hearing that song while she opened up the blinds in my room to let the sun stream in was about the worst way to wake me up back then.  Probably why I occasionally do that to my kids now ;)  They need to enjoy that tradition..lol.  If you know me, you know how much I love Broadway musicals.  The love of Broadway was passed down to my brother and I through my parents, mainly my mom but my dad enjoyed them too. Hearing him sing "I was born under a wand'rin' star" is still one of the most cherished sounds I've ever heard.  It's the crazy little things that we remember about those we miss.  I remember how jelly would come through his teeth when he bit into toast, I remember loving to hear the way my mom's high heels clicked on the floor, I remember his deep laugh and how soft his hair looked when he left it natural, I remember how she loved to shock with her sense of humor and that incredible sparkle that never left her eyes.  

I lost my dad when I was 13, my mom when I was 36.  This is why my desire to become healthy is so strong.  I want to grow very old and enjoy life with those I love but I've also gone through losing both my parents by the age of 36, so I know it's not a given.  I want to experience so much with my kids and see the way they take on the world - they are huge in my motivation to get into a healthy lifestyle and mindset.  I want them to grow up with a healthy attitude when it comes to body image, food, fitness and have something REAL to reference in the world of Photoshop and fad diets.  

My two precious babes running freely and without abandon - LOVE THEM! =)
Cathy Walters Photography

I consider myself a healthy person in general meaning rarely sick, etc.. but I realize that under that facade - I'm really not.  At the start of this challenge, I was about 70 lbs over where I want to be.  I didn't exercise regularly  at all and I indulged in way too much of "taking care of me" that wasn't healthy: relaxing at the end of the day with a glass of wine and TV/Book, Glass of wine and a bath, slept in vs getting up to work out, "Treated" myself to Starbucks or something I knew wasn't healthy when I'd had a rough day/was tired/had a lot to do/name the excuse (and yes I'm beginning to realize I may need Starbucks anonymous..lol).  Point being - I wasn't taking care of me.  I was finding ways to bury my head in the sand and pretend that I had no control over what was happening.  I call Bullshit.  (Excuse the language - but.. lets be real).  Yes, people go through hard times, yes, shitty things happen in life, yes, it's stressful, yes, you can't find motivation when you're tired and yes you get depressed. Crazy since I consider myself happy most of the time, but seriously looking back to the moments I truly let myself feel - I felt sucked down and depressed.  I felt like there was no way out.  The hill was too steep to crawl up.  The hole I created was too deep and what better way to deal with it than continue to wallow in the self-loathing pit I was cowering in.  Forget about feeling reality, indulge to make yourself temporarily feel better.  (Disclaimer - I also went to counseling for almost 2 years to help me deal with a lot of the issues that were holding me down and realize being honest - deeply, painfully honest and revealing to myself was possible.  So I'm not discounting any personal depression, struggles, etc.. Just explaining my retreat and how I justified it until I got tired of being there and decided to find my way out..)  I also needed to believe in me. Being open about why I chose to do this challenge, asking my partner to do it with me and letting him see my insecurities, allowing myself to verbalize struggles, thoughts, impressions also gave them less power. There's a part of me that didn't want to open up, that didn't want to blog and express how bad I want this change - because what if I fail and am judged?  You know what??  That fear of failure is what kept me burying my head in the sand, pretending for far too long, it's what gave that unhealthy lifestyle power and it's what gave those negative thoughts in my head a voice.  No one is perfect, everyone has struggles, being real is what's unique. Opening up and trying is what feels powerful.  Admitting to my Bonza buddy I'd really love something off plan in a moment of weakness is what helps keep me from indulging and lets me dismiss that craving vs letting it linger in my thoughts. Will there be learning curves or roadblocks?  Absolutely but I feel more empowered to deal with them.  

One of the things that always inspires me when I think about my mom? Her resolve. She knew that there were times in her life she had to find a way to make things happen, regardless of how hard it was.  She did it with grace and a smile - and some shocking wit to make those eyes sparkle more.  I feel that resolve within me and am gaining confidence in knowing I can do this!!!!!

My Beautiful mom and I on a vacation, deciding on Henna Tattoos..

There is a healthier, fitter and deeply happier me waiting at the end of this.  I see her gaining strength, courage and becoming fierce in determination to see this through.  I can't wait to be her at the end!!!  And take her shopping!!!!!!! =)

Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15 days.. Do you wanna go to Starbucks?

I love this parody.. Do you wanna go to Starbucks? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SDIc6bGw9w

It's been 15 days and I've made it without my nonfat, no whip Cinnamon Dolce Latte.  I'm going to be hurt if Starbucks doesn't call me by the end of this challenge.  "Excuse us, but your card had been used 3-4 times a week and for 2 months, nothing.. Are you alive?"  YES - surprisingly yes... LOL!  14 days was the longest I'd made it in the past, sad but true. Today I was tired and having a case of the Monday blahs.. A perfect day for something warm with my name misspelled on the cup... BUT I SAID NO.  I have made it a separate goal during this challenge - I will not slide.  I know myself, if I slip once, the next time isn't very hard and then it's easier and easier.  

I am giving my boyfriend and I the "Hands in the Air - 2 Claps" Bonza salute for avoiding temptations and pitfalls this past week.  They say the first week is the hardest as your body goes through Heroin sugar withdrawal (luckily we made it without going through the shakes and sweats;)  However, we both agreed that last week was tougher.  The first week you had the adrenaline rush and excitement from starting, so it was easier to hold fast.  This week brought massive carb and cheese cravings and being in situations you'd normally indulge.  While we probably could have had a bit and counted the calories, we stuck to our goal of clean eating. Not ONE kernel of popcorn passed my lips as I held it in between my kiddos and had to smell it's buttery goodness when we went to see Paddington, not one taste of Orange Marmalade (Thanks Paddington for putting that craving out there), Not one potato, empanada, taquito, slice of brie or bite of flan during a party at our awesome neighbors home.  And while those things looked amazing - we weren't deprived.  We still enjoyed the most amazing Sancocho (Dominican Stew) known to man, just ate the meat, stuck to veggies and spent lots of time talking to great friends. It felt good to be in it together and stick to our goal of becoming healthier.  Don't get me wrong - next year for that gathering, I'll be enjoying some of those things but I'm forcing myself to take this step of figuring out what is really worth it and what is mindless eating.

At some point - I know I will count this as worth it again but not 3-4 times a week and not out of habit.  But for the remainder of these 50 days - we're on a break Starbucks.

All together now - Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

50 Day Challenge!

Aloha!!  I'm not Hawaiian and I don't live on an island but if I won the lottery - I swear I would run a hotdog stand/bar on a beach.  I love the ocean and the beach - the memories I've made (and those I want to make) there are so special to me.

So onto why we're here.. I'm getting that Bonza Booty back =).  I started a 50 day challenge just 10 days ago and am feeling Bonza (Awesome in Australian).  << Cue "Everything is awesome" in the background>>  Growing up I NEVER struggled with weight, as I recently relayed, I was called Indiana Bones because I was so skinny.  I could eat whatever I wanted, never really worked out and metabolism apparently just dealt with it.  I still didn't think I had a great body, thought I had too small of a chest, my thighs were too big (I was a size 2) and I recall thinking somewhere in my 20's wow, I've never been in the double digits (going from a size 8 to a 10) - well lets try it.  WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??  Looking back at those pictures I wish I would have embraced that body and skin I was in - because I'd give almost anything to have it back now.  

   

Fast forward, I'm now 39 and promised myself I'd enter my 40's a healthier me.  I've done the negative self talk too long and beat myself down with the "how on earth could you allow this?  How could you be so lazy and let this happen.."  Enough is enough, time to take the reigns and DO THIS. I'm done wasting my time on the negative energy, time to focus on the positives.  Enough excuses -Everyone's got a story and mine is no different.. Stress, divorce, working full time, being on the road at times for work, being a mom to 2 kiddos, loss of loved ones, putting too much weight (pun intended) on what others thought and not enough on loving myself and negative self talk all added up to bring me to where I am today.  As far as where I am today.. Lets just say, it's going to take sometime to reveal that # too.  I'm not happy with it and I'm not defining myself with a number but still it's a number I know I NEVER want to see again.  So, when the 50 Day Challenge with Bonza Bodies Fitness came up, I txt'd my boyfriend and asked him to join with me. He said yes and we dove in.  (I'm pretty sure after our first Bonza workout, he also hated me for that txt.. but we're both loving the energy and health changes we're feeling after only 10 days!)

I had to ask myself when starting this challenge, what's going to be different this time? I've done some in the past, lost some, felt over confident and then let old habits creep back in.  (Hello Starbucks Gold card..) For me, partnership and accountability is what is different this time.  Having my significant other partner with me is huge.  It makes it so much easier having someone understand what you're doing, plan recipes together, motivate each other to workout and keep each other accountable.  It's also been amazing knowing that someone can know my struggles openly in this department and not feel judged.  This challenge has been completely a No Judgement zone.  From my Bonza Buddy/Boyfriend, to our trainers, to other participants it's really an awesome team of supportive people.  I've also shared more openly (heck a lot more openly considering this blog..lol) with family, colleagues, friends who have all been incredible in their support and encouragement.  That's felt more empowering than I thought it could be.  It stripped back some vulnerability but added accountability and support.  =)

Finally, (I swear if you've read this far - there is an end!!) my main motivation for doing this is because I want to be a healthier me - be around and enjoy life with those I love for a very long time!  I lost my mom to breast cancer a few years ago and I know there are things I can do to minimize my risk.  If I can do anything that prevents my kids having to go through that - I want to do my part.  I can be a healthy weight (I'm not) and get regular exercise (I'm working on establishing that habit!).  Who knows what the future holds - but a lot of health issues can be fixed by healthy and clean living.  I feel like I owe it to me, my kids and those I love to do it.  And on the not serious side - I cannot wait to go shopping again and enjoy it!!!  No more making faces in the mirror unless it's a wink of approval =)

So with that - Hands in the air, 2 Claps..  GET THAT BONZA BOOTY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!